How can you be a positive example?

Time. That's the key.

One of my life goals is to “Be a positive example of a great human being in everything I do.”

It sounds good, but how do I put it into practice AND measure it? More specifically, how do I measure it in the form of 2 to 3 key results within the OKR framework.

In a previous post I talked about my definition of a “great human being,” which has less to do with any single trait and more to do with striving to be better. I won’t rehash that here, but do want to explicitly state that measurement of that “striving” is going to be a part of at least one of the key result metrics.

The other way I keep thinking about how to measure this is by the different roles in my life. Off the top of my head, the list includes:

• husband

• father

• son

• friend

• leader

• manager

• mentor

• mentee

• coworker

• client

• employee

• caretaker of myself

Damn. I doubt I even got them all. We each wear a lot of hats!

I like the idea of “grading” myself on how I do in these roles, but that seems like an impossible task to do on a regular basis. Plus, they don’t all carry the same weight.

So what if I grade myself on the 2 or 3 most important to me?

Even this is tough. My top two would be husband and father. For three I’m torn between “employee”, “son”, “friend” and “caretaker of myself”. All four are damn important. It’s not that I’m ignoring ones I don’t choose, but by choosing to measure certain ones and not others they will undoubtedly get more attention. I fear ignoring one like “son” and then regretting it down the line when a parent passes.

This is way harder than I expected. It makes me wonder if picking the top few is the right approach. Normally I’m all about prioritizing and attacking the top priority, but this isn’t about accomplishing a one-and-done goal. This is about developing a sustainable cadence of maintaining relationships that are important to me.

That’s the key. Being a “great” husband/father/son/etc. is all about relationships, which are about time. Some should get more time than others, e.g. spouse > friend, but to be a great spouse and a great friend both require time. Both require that I be present for them for some amount of time. Not distracted. Not multi-tasking. Just giving them my time.

I can do that. 

And I can measure it.